December 2010
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poker face (chuck)
i’ve never really played poker before.
this year, some of my freshmen taught me how to play poker. it’s a lot of bluffing, a lot of holding, a lot of raising, and a lot more losing than winning. because even when you’re up, you had to be down first; because even when you make it up, you had to lose it to begin with.
when our story started, i didn’t really care. i played...
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conversation with my 5 year old cousin
me: ryan, never have a boyfriend.
ryan: what do you mean?
me: they lie. they lie about everything. they say anything to be with you but they never mean what they say.
ryan: oh. well..when you let me play plants vs. zombies on your phone you had a lot of texts.
me: i mean if you really want to be happy, just don't talk to any boys.
ryan: i think it's because you have a lot of texts in plants vs. zombies.
so wise.
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Anonymous asked: Do you think you are like the character from the movie?
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“What we think, we become.”
– Buddha
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perfect
he’s amazing.
he’s confident, he’s funny, he wants to meet my father, my brother likes him.
he always calls when he says he will, he hasn’t disappointed me, i’m comfortable.
we never have to kiss in the rain because he always walks me to the front door. we never fight about music in the front seat of his pickup truck because he always lets me choose my favorites....
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my aunt at the super market
so if you didn’t know, i’m in mammoth for the week. the first thing my family likes to do when we go on any vacation is to buy AT LEAST $300 worth of groceries that none of us will be able to finish. so we go to the local mammoth vons and shop like tomorrow is a zombie apocalypse when the funniest/strangest thing happened to my aunt.
so my aunt is in the fruit section picking up...
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christmas shitshow
god christmas is always absolutely hilarious in the my family. as soon december 14 rolls around it’s like my family turns into the twilight series and everyone becomes a faggot vampire flipping out over shit that doesn’t matter and that could easily be solved with common sense.
the thing is, every person in my family deals with christmas differently. i’m gonna go ahead and say i...
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That awkward moment when you asked something and...
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I never understood why people take pictures of...
Was the camera mean to you?
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how i feel in class when someone asks a question...
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The awkward moment when your friends are talking...
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that awkward moment when your teacher has a better...
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When you try to stay awake in class.
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OH AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT BLACK SWAN:
likeyoumeanitlikeyoudo:
A film about dance
with GREAT ACTING
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dreams feel real while we're in them
“dreams feel real while we’re in them, it’s only when we wake up do we realize something was wrong.”
my grandfather’s house is 3 stories. i haven’t been there in years, but yesterday everyone was frantically getting ready so i didn’t have time to admire the chandelier, the large table where we spent most of our new year’s celebrations, or the...
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i am really annoying
i would consider myself a connoisseur of annoying people. specifically my family. like i know exactly what to do to annoy the shit out of each one of them, and with precarious trial and error have mastered this into a fine art that i practice on any and every possible occassion.
for my mom it’s really easy. all you have to do is talk about her one of three things: weight, age, or...
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